Looking Back & Forward in Marriage

Only five years ago, on March 10th 2005, my husband and I were celebrating our 15 year anniversary in Maui, Hawaii. It was such a blessing to us, a very rich time. We sat in our rental car, parked in front of the ocean before heading to the airport for our trip home. We talked. Laughed. Pictured being bombarded by the kids and the dog the moment we reached our doorstep. After one loooooong last deep breath of what seemed close to heaven, we went back to real life.

We had no idea what 'real life' would serve up only months later. Brian's dad, Bob, began to get sick in September, which after a long series of missed diagnoses, turned out to be brain cancer (GBM4). A few months after that, Brian's granddad (Bob's dad) came to live with us. He was in the early stages of Parkinson's disease, and watching his son battle with brain cancer would cause him to rapidly deteriorate. In the meantime, my mother was beginning to decline from a misdiagnosis in her own health, and I was torn between staying home to care for Brian's family and flying home to Illinois to be with my mother. Our kids needed us more than ever, and neither of us had a lot to give them. Thank goodness the Lord filled in all the huge gaps of needs we could not satisfy.

These were three of the most stressful years of Brian's and my life, and to be honest, in our marriage. In many ways we bonded closer to help one another. But our communication began to suffer, and that caused some emotional distance. The only way to describe it was that our bond in Christ held us together. Because we were pulled in so many directions, we had to rely on Him for strength more than we could each other. And knowing that each of us were desperately clinging to the Lord made our marriage stronger than ever.

We miss Bob. We miss Granddad. We miss my mama. Our lives will never be the same without them in it. But even so, we treasure the memories and pray to live as a family in such a way that carries on a Godly legacy.

So here we sit, another anniversary, looking back and forward once again. The first 20 years have brought us thrills, loss, surprises, trials, grief and joy. Though we wonder what lies ahead, we've no doubt it will bring us closer to the Lord and to each other. May all that we do, individually & together, glorify the One who has given us the grace we've needed to love each other well thus far.

"A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

Ecclesiastes 4:12