One Thing I'll Never Ever Hide

>> Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Why is it I want to hide when I get to the end of myself?

And I get there often.

It’s big things, small things, anywhere in-between things. I forget that the Lord wants me weak and vulnerable and teachable and dependent so that He can be my true Strength and Shelter and Wisdom and Confidence.

Of course this doesn't mean I wallow around in self-pity or low self-esteem. It means I glory in who He is and what He can do in and through me as I hide myself in Him. I'm learning...struggling, live this out consistently, but thankfully, the Lord has given me reminders in His Word over and over again:

He says in 2 Corinthians 12, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Then I'm told to "boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me." He reminds me not to lose heart in 2 Corinthians 4, because my light and momentary troubles are achieving for me an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

So, I can boast that I have bad mommy days and sometimes I feel like the worst wife on the planet. I can share that I've struggled with mild depression and mood swings my whole life. My house is a wreck more often than I'd like to admit, and usually because I haven't organized my time well or kept my priorities in order. I'm selfish. I make the same mistakes over and over again.

But I won't stop my boasting there. The Lord is my Stronghold, my Deliverer, my Teacher, my Counselor, my Guide, my Helper, my gracious Forgiver, my Completer, my Potter, my Shepherd and my very VERY Best Friend. My flaws are not a surprise to Him. His mercies are new and available to me every single hour of every day. Nothing is impossible for Him, even ironing out my wrinkliest weaknesses. He says, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" (Isaiah 43:18)

Yes, I get to the end of myself, and I get there often. But even more often, I'm out of breath running to the One who was waiting for me to get there in the first place. I love my Jesus, and I won't hide that from anyone.


Patty Wysong March 2, 2010 at 9:43 AM  

Yes! Being at the end of ourselves is a scary but super place to be. It's there that we realize we need to constantly cling to Jesus.

Thank you for that reminder --that it's good to be at the end of ourselves.
Love you!
(and I LOVE your look here! Beautiful!!) :-)

Twinkle Mom March 2, 2010 at 9:53 AM  

Something I'm slowly realizing is that when that happens-it's a reminder of how much more we need Him and more than anything how human we are. I think it brings us really closer to Him and I think about Moses how, we think of Moses as this strong leader but yet there was a moment when he just didn't want any of the 'burden' that he felt was laid on him.

I think sometimes when that happens, its when we really find out too who our friends are and who they aren't and it's a reminder of how we are not picture perfect and shouldn't be picture perfect. It's at that moment that we tend to be more open and more humble to what our Heavenly Father has to share with us.

It's scary and painful for those who come from backgrounds that are difficult because I think there is a desire for a picture perfect life and constant happiness, but I don't think it's so much as defeat as just gentle speedbumps when maybe our Father sees a growth that we need and that we are moving too fast too let that happen.

Amydeanne March 2, 2010 at 10:41 AM  

I love the new site LauraLee! :)

God's girl March 2, 2010 at 1:05 PM  

What a real post! Thank you for your vulnerability! I have found myself resorting to some old depression behaviors and coping-mechanisms lately, and my first thought is to get angry with myself because I continue to "go there" occasionally.

Then I see God holding out His hand and reminding me that I don't have to protect my heart! He will protect it for me. I don't have to put walls up! He guards my heart (when I choose to let Him). He reminds me that I am ever in need of a Savior...and that perfection isn't the goal...but rather perseverance and pressing-on.

So thankful that God truly does love us right where we are at, and loves us even more not to let us stay there:) On the edge of the nest is a little intimidating, but He is there ready to catch us and help us to fly and soar!!!

Blessings on you today! Keep on keeping on and keep being real:) (Love the new look too!)


Sita March 2, 2010 at 1:20 PM  

One of my favorite Christian one-liners: When you've reached your wits' end, you'll find that God lives there!

Sita March 2, 2010 at 1:20 PM  

By the way, great new look!

elaine @ peace for the journey March 6, 2010 at 10:27 AM  

Great thoughts, friend, although brought about through some struggle, no doubt. I've been to the end of myself on several occasions as of late. The struggling we've known as a family has been very real. And my house? You don't want to know; I'd be ashamed for anyone to walk through, which reminds me, I probably need to get off of the computer and tend to my stuff today. I'll be thinking of you as I scrub and pray.

Love you.


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