About My Latest Speaking Event. Come See My Outfit!

Seriously, I wouldn't be so shallow as to have you come and look at my outfit. Sort of. For years, I would do drama roles, sing solos, perform. Each one required some sort of costume or particular type of dress, etc. The Lord has taken all of that background and the way He has wired me to put that into a talk entitled "Ladies, What's in Your Closet?" And believe me when I tell you, the mask has had to come off.

I'm learning slowly that it is not about being up front or receiving applause or gain (not that it ever shoulda been before). It's not about how well I rehearse lines, and it's definitely not about being in character.

It's about being small, getting out of the way and letting Him speak through me. It's about believing Him faithful. It's about wearing Jesus. It's about sharing the story He's given me, one full of comedy, tragedy, baggage and dirty laundry, yet all the while covered by and filled with hope, faith, love and Truth...Life with a capital "L."

"...putting on faith and love as a breastplate,
and the hope of salvation as a helmet." 
1st Thessalonians 5:8

all for His purpose:

"...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD for the display of His splendor."
Isaiah 61:3

The ladies at North Park Baptist Church in Sherman, Texas, allowed God to do this work as they welcomed my prayer partner Margie and me, fed us the yummiest food I've had in years, and made us feel completely at home Monday night. Another reason I felt so at home was because the church and people reminded me so much of the church I grew up in. As I spoke, I saw hunger for the Word of God in their eyes, as well affirmation of His message. I even heard a few "Amens." They overwhelmed me with a generous love offering after I spoke as well. I'm so thankful to their coordinator, Janice, inviting me and taking a chance on this writer/performer turned newbie speaker. I had a blast and learned so much in the process.

These precious mothers and daughters had no idea that the few weeks before the event, I was coming apart at the seams. Little did I know, He was preparing me to be able to speak authentically about the message He'd been weaving together thread by thread for many weeks preceding. The Lord knew I needed to go there stripped of my own capability, confidence and resources, and clothed with His presence alone instead.

So I did. And honestly, I have no idea what He did in others, but I know for sure, He did some major work in me. He'd been teaching me for years as a performer to become smaller, and He's carrying on that same pattern no matter what role I'm in...He is good.

"In His great power, God becomes like clothing to me;
He binds me like the neck of my garment."
Job 30:18

"I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God.
For He has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me with a robe of righteousness..."
Isaiah 61:10a

Thank You, Papa, for making me small, and giving me the will and freedom to wear You big 'n tall--at this event, the next one (if you will it), and every moment in-between.

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Tossin' the Cape...Again.

For those who've heard me speak, "the SuperCape" is a part of my testimony. It's dramatic, but it fits. I've tried to burn the thing, but somehow I'll find it back in my closet to try on again.

Well, I haven't been sporting it quite like the above picture, but I've been wearing it underneath my clothing lately. As I've prayed about it, the Holy Spirit's been reminding me of who I am in Christ when I lay down my cape (completely), staying clothed with Him alone.

"You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? Have you suffered so much for nothing--if it really was for nothing? Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?"

Galatians 3:1-5

"I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

Galatians 2:20

The day I received the gift of forgiveness for my sins from Jesus, I also asked Him to reign in me. He has given me everything I need for life and for godliness through the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit. I don't know why I sneak my cape back on sometimes, but I do know it isn't long before I crash and burn in my own super strength. I'm thankful I can always trust Him to lead me back on His road...the one where I am weak and He is strong...the one where I'm a fool and He is the Star...the one where I walk calmly instead of try to run or fly...ahhhhhh, I'm right where I wanna be...again.

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One Thing I'll Never Ever Hide

Why is it I want to hide when I get to the end of myself?

And I get there often.

It’s big things, small things, anywhere in-between things. I forget that the Lord wants me weak and vulnerable and teachable and dependent so that He can be my true Strength and Shelter and Wisdom and Confidence.

Of course this doesn't mean I wallow around in self-pity or low self-esteem. It means I glory in who He is and what He can do in and through me as I hide myself in Him. I'm learning...struggling, honestly...to live this out consistently, but thankfully, the Lord has given me reminders in His Word over and over again:

He says in 2 Corinthians 12, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Then I'm told to "boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me." He reminds me not to lose heart in 2 Corinthians 4, because my light and momentary troubles are achieving for me an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

So, I can boast that I have bad mommy days and sometimes I feel like the worst wife on the planet. I can share that I've struggled with mild depression and mood swings my whole life. My house is a wreck more often than I'd like to admit, and usually because I haven't organized my time well or kept my priorities in order. I'm selfish. I make the same mistakes over and over again.

But I won't stop my boasting there. The Lord is my Stronghold, my Deliverer, my Teacher, my Counselor, my Guide, my Helper, my gracious Forgiver, my Completer, my Potter, my Shepherd and my very VERY Best Friend. My flaws are not a surprise to Him. His mercies are new and available to me every single hour of every day. Nothing is impossible for Him, even ironing out my wrinkliest weaknesses. He says, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" (Isaiah 43:18)

Yes, I get to the end of myself, and I get there often. But even more often, I'm out of breath running to the One who was waiting for me to get there in the first place. I love my Jesus, and I won't hide that from anyone.

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